EQ: Coaching vs. Coaxing – What’s the Difference?
Emotional Intelligence is the ability to recognize, understand, and manage our own emotions while being aware of the emotions of others. Leaders who lead with EQ build better relationships, inspire trust, and foster an environment where employees are motivated to perform their best.
EQ impacts every aspect of a leader’s role—from how they handle stress to how they communicate feedback. For leaders focused on development, high EQ means being more effective at helping team members reach their potential in a supportive, empowering way.
So, where does the difference between coaching and coaxing come into play?
Coaching vs. Coaxing: A Key Distinction
In guiding and motivating employees, leaders often lean on two primary methods: coaching and coaxing. These approaches sound similar but have vastly different impacts on team members and overall workplace morale.
Coaching: A coaching approach focuses on supporting and empowering employees. Coaching uses EQ to encourage employees to find solutions, recognize strengths, and explore growth opportunities. A coach provides constructive feedback, listens, and creates an environment of trust.
Coaxing: Coaxing, however, often relies on pressure and persuasion rather than genuine support. When coaxing, a leader may attempt to ‘convince’ employees to perform or meet expectations, sometimes resorting to short-term motivators like external rewards or subtle guilt.
The challenge with coaxing is that it rarely leads to lasting change or genuine buy-in from team members. Coaching, on the other hand, fosters growth, commitment, and resilience.
The Downsides of Coaxing in Leadership
Coaxing might achieve compliance, but it doesn’t foster engagement or development. Here are some reasons why coaxing can be counterproductive in a workplace:
Short-Lived Motivation: Coaxing often relies on temporary motivators or pressure, which can create compliance in the short term but fail to inspire real, lasting change.
Lack of Ownership: When employees feel coerced, they’re less likely to take ownership of their tasks. This can result in a team that does just enough to get by rather than striving for excellence.
Increased Frustration: Coaxing can lead to a toxic work environment if employees feel pressured or manipulated. Frustration can build, which lowers morale, increases turnover, and diminishes the team’s productivity.
Eroded Trust: When leaders use coaxing as a strategy, it can damage trust. Employees may feel they aren’t being genuinely supported, which can decrease engagement and damage relationships in the long run.
Shifting from coaxing to coaching can significantly change your team’s morale, growth, and trust.
The Benefits of a Coaching Mindset
Coaching with EQ isn’t just about avoiding coaxing; it’s about creating a culture of empowerment and support. Here’s why coaching with EQ is far more effective:
Builds Self-Motivation: Coaching helps employees find their own reasons for improvement, leading to more sustainable motivation.
Increases Engagement and Commitment: When employees feel supported and valued, they become more engaged in their work. Engagement leads to higher productivity, job satisfaction, and loyalty.
Encourages Growth and Resilience: Coaching supports personal and professional growth by allowing employees to reflect, set goals, and take ownership of their development. This approach promotes resilience and adaptability.
Strengthens Trust: Leaders who coach build trust and openness, creating a safe environment where team members feel valued. A coaching mindset fosters a positive work culture where employees know they can seek guidance and support.
Practical Tips for Coaching with EQ
Now that we’ve established the value of EQ in coaching, here are some actionable steps to shift your approach and build a coaching mindset:
Practice Empathy
Start by building an understanding of your team members’ perspectives. Listen actively to their concerns, motivations, and aspirations. Empathy is at the heart of EQ, allowing you to tailor your coaching approach to each person’s unique needs.
Use Open-Ended Questions
Encourage reflection by asking questions that allow employees to think critically about their work and personal goals. Instead of “Did you finish the project?” try “What challenges are you facing with the project, and how can I support you?”
Focus on Growth-Oriented Feedback
Coaching is about development, not criticism. Focus on feedback that points toward growth rather than focusing solely on what went wrong. For example, say “This approach worked well. Let’s explore how we can build on that for next time,” instead of “You didn’t do this right.”
Set Clear, Achievable Goals Together
Work with employees to set realistic and achievable goals that align with their strengths and career aspirations. Involving them in goal-setting increases their ownership and investment in the outcomes.
Recognize Efforts and Progress, Not Just Results
It’s easy to celebrate end results, but acknowledging efforts and progress along the way keeps employees motivated. Celebrate small wins, and provide encouragement for continuous improvement.
Encourage Self-Reflection
Incorporate regular check-ins and opportunities for employees to reflect on their progress. Encourage them to consider what’s working, what’s not, and how they can continue to grow.
Culture Works Can Help with Your Coaching
Culture Works can support your shift from coaxing to coaching by providing the tools, training, and resources to foster emotional intelligence and a coaching mindset within your team. We understand that building a workplace culture centered on trust, support, and growth is essential for long-term success. With our expertise, your leaders can master EQ-based coaching techniques that empower employees, boost engagement, and strengthen team morale. Let us help you create an environment where everyone feels valued, motivated, and ready to achieve their full potential.
Read on to learn more about what we do.
